The Overlookz
by Polish Povke
Summary: This is an extremely random parody of the movie, The Shining. It's very interesting and probably will grab your attention from the randomness.....it's very weird.
1. Default Chapter

Jack Torrance strolls into the palatial lobby of the Overlookz, inquiring to see General Manager Mr. Stuart Ullmangigiosutermasol for his appointment - he has driven three and a half hours distance from his home in the projects. He's desperate for money and wants to become a pop star, like his idol the Austrian pop star, Daniel Kuebelboeck.  
  
In the kitchen/dinette of the Torrance's home in Lake Preston, South Dakota where they have lived only about five days after relocating from Vermont where Jack was a boot maker and secretly a professional disco dancer], 20 year-old son Danny eats a lunch of white, wonder bread and cool aid with his passive, obese, black-haired mother Wendy Winifred, who is reading a book on nuclear physics.  
  
Danny: Do you really want to go and live in that hotel 6 for the winter? Wendy: Sure I do. It'll be lots of fun. Danny: Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, there's hardly anybody to boogie with around here. Wendy: Yeah, I know. It always takes a little time to make new buds. Danny: Yeah, I guess so. Wendy: What about Tony? He's lookin' forward to the hotel, I bet. Danny: (He uses his index finger as a stiff, puppet-figure to act and speak in a high pitched voice like Michael Jackson - a real character of his imagination.) No he is, Mrs. Torrance. Wendy: Now come on, Tony, don't be silly billy. Danny (as Tony): I don't want to go there, Mrs. Torrance. Wendy: Well, how come you don't want to go? Danny (as Tony): I just don't. Wendy: Well, let's just wait and see. We're all going to have a real good time.  
  
In the hotel office, Ullmangigiosutermasol announces that former boot maker, aspiring pop singer Jack (and his family) will be caretaker(s) of the hotel during the upcoming winter: "Jack is, uh, going to take care of the OvErLoOkZ for us this winter." His former bling blingage job, which didn't make ends meet, got in the way of his writing, creating new dance moves and singing songs:  
  
Ullmangigiosutermasol: Jack is a school teacher... Jack: NO, formerly a boot maker...I'm a pop singer now in the band Kewl Kiddy Katz. Call me Jackito! O yeah..Umm, boot makings been more or less a way of making ends meet...I'm lookin' for a change.....a change in my dull life! I wanna be like Michael Jackson or Daniel Kuebelboeck!  
  
Suddenly, Jackito breaks out in dance and singing. He shuffles his feet back and forth while singing the lyrics, "USED TO BE A BOOTMAKER! NOW IM A CARETAKER! SOON TO BE SUCCESSFEWL! BECAUSE IM SO HAPPY AND KEWL! Ullmangigiosutermasol blankly stares at Jackito, shocked at the talent that is found in Jackito. Jackitos going to be a star! A GOLDEN STAR!  
  
General Manager Ullmangigiosutermasol explains that the irregular season runs from "febutober 15 to mayvember 30th and then we close down completely until the following febutober" - a period of six months when the deserted(yum that makes me think of chocolate ice cream), off-season, snow- bound hotel is closed and inaccessible during the brutal winter. Wonderful Jackito has already been recommended and hired through the St. Petershamburger Musiq Record Label office, so Ullmangigiosutermasol forgets the typical interview questions and describes the job's essential requirement - to keep the harsh, winter "elements" (both physical and psychological)in the dumpster with maintenance and repair of the building.  
  
He cautions Jackito about the possible deleterious effects of being isolated for many months and losing all touch with civilization. Jackito accepts the job and plans to take advantage of the undemanding work schedule to do some preparation for the new cd, We're all Beef Boys Now:  
  
Ullmangigiosutermasol: When the place was built in 79 A.D., there was very little interest in winter sports. And this site was chosen for its inexpensive price for land. Jackito: Well, that certainly shows...the building is falling halfway into the ground. Ullmangigiosutermasol: ...The winters can be fantastically cruel. And the basic idea is to cope with the very costly damage and depreciation which can occur. For example, the building can shake, so millions of rats find their way into the overlookz. We call these incidences ghetto disasters. Jackito: Well, that sounds fine to me. I'm used to shaky grounds. The place where I secretly danced would shake to cause a dramatic affect to the dancing. Ullmangigiosutermasol: Physically, it's a demanding job. You get a good workout. The only thing that can isn't a bit trying up here during the winter is the sense of isolation because no one, except your family is here Jackito: Well, that just happens to be exactly what I'm looking for. I'm writing my new cd. All I need is peace. Ullmangigiosutermasol: That's very good Jack, because, uh, for some people, solitude and isolation can, of itself become a problem. Jackito: Not for me. Ullmangigiosutermasol: How about your obese wife and son? How do you think they'll take to it? Jackito: Oh they love peace and earthquakes.  
  
Without wanting to sound "melodramatic" because "it's something that's been known to give a few people second thoughts about the job," Ullmangigiosutermasol furtively reveals the hotel's famous, history -people have been known to be killed before getting payed........i wonder why....;) 


	2. Vivid Visions

Ullmangigiosutermasol: I'm assuming that in Vermont they told you nothing about the several tradgedies that have been experienced at the OvErLoOkZ? Jackito: no.....not at all.....they said this hotel was very nice! Ullmangigiosutermasol: Well, uh, my predecessor in this job, hired a man named Fred E. Jewel as the winter caretaker. He arrived here with his wife and two little boys, I think about eight and ten. And he had a good employment record, good references, and from what I've been told, I mean he seemed like a completely normal individual. But at some point during the winter, our secret man came in and killed him and his family because he was going completely crazy....having an EXTREME mental breakdown! Jackito: That sounds interesting. I'm perfectly normal.*says that while doing belly dancing and pushing his strangely huge chest outward.* Ullmangigiosutermasol: Yeah. It's a touchy, depressing subject. Jackito:It is.....BAWWWWWWWWWWBAWWWWWWWWWBAWWWWWWW. Ullmangigiosutermasol:It's okay Jackito. I doubt this will happen to you. Jackito:*sniff sniff* I hope not...MY LIFE WILL NOT BE TAKEN AWAY DURING THIS JOB! I'm gonna be a successful singer after this. hardeharhar Ullmangigiosutermasol: Yes, you will....Now will you please stop crying? Jackito: Okay! *Smiles hugely and his eyes twinkle like saphires.*-bad similie but w/e!  
  
In the first of many happy smiles during his interview, Jackito raises his sharply-angled unibrow and assures Ullmangigiosutermasol that he will wax and style his unibrow. Maybe dye it hot pink or lime green? He also supposes that his wife aka wendy window(that's her nickname because windows can be wide, fat, or obese!) will be interested about the story of the crazy man and how he was killed.  
  
You can rest assured, Mr. Ullmangigiosutermasol, that's not gonna happen with me. And, uh, as far as my wife is concerned, she'll be absolutely fascinated when I tell her about it. She loves to hear about real-life horror stories.   
  
In front of his home's bathroom mirror as he brushes his teeth, hyper-venulated Danny is already seeing messages(his special talent) from his playmate "Tony." Tony: Yo daddy got da job as da inkeeper at da overlookz. Dere yo could possibly die because yo dads gonna go CCCCCCRAAAAAAZZZZZZY!*says that in a michael jackson type voice.*  
  
At first, Tony resists but then delivers a terrifying, vision of the past(this image is real!). Danny is connected with the hotel's food forces and senses something evil about their future home even before they arrive. Waves of pudding gloop out from the double-doors of an elevator in the hotel lobby. Then, mustard squeezes out of the front doors of the hotel. Two of the Overlook's time-warped occupants - two boys, each wearing a pink polka dot party dress and their hair in braids[OH EM GEE! ARE THESE THE SONS THAT DIED?!?!?!!?!?!?!?], holding pinkies in a ketchup-covered hallway, and staring happily at the camera, appear in a cut-in for an instant between the ocean of pudding that's towering over them. [It is later learned that the hotel was built on top of the grounds where a past pudding manufacturing building stood - does the pudding also symbolize the way pudding that the factory made overflows peoples hearts with joy?] Danny's reacts by licking his lips. Yummmmmm.....pudding......   
  
Wendy, calls the doctor because fountains of drool are squirting out of Danny's mouth. The doctor rushes to their apartment. Doctor: Why is this so? Has Danny always been like this? Anything that might of caused this? Wendy: Well.....one night Jackito had been eating squirrel poop...his addiction....his breath got a little smelly and he breathed on Danny....This made him nauseas and he erm fainted. Since then, Jackito has quit his addiction and Danny seems to see these "visions" more often. Doctor:Well, I don't know how I can help you. You'll just have to watch out for him at the Overlookz.  
  
~Note. I use the word obese a lot in my story...this might seem strange, but it's just because it's a fun word to say. I'm not discriminating against any obese people. I'm not a discriminator, hater, or meaniehead. As long as if your nice, you are welcomed to be my friend.~ 


End file.
